In the beginning
1. In the beginning God created the Bit and the Byte. And from those
he created the Word.
2. And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed. And
God separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was good.
3. And God said: Let the Data be; and so it happened. And God said:
Let the Data go to their proper places. And he created floppy disks
and hard disks and compact disks.
4. And God said: Let the computers be, so there would be a place to
put floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks. Thus God created
computers and called them hardware.
5. And there was no Software yet. But God created programs; small and
big... And told them: Go and multiply yourselves and fill all the
6. And God said: I will create the Programmer; and the programmer will
make new programs and govern over the computers and programs and data.
7. And God created the Programmer; and put him at Data Center; and
showed the Programmer the catalog tree and said: You can use all the
volumes and subvolumes, but DO NOT USE Windows.
8. And God said: It is not good for the programmer to be alone. He
took a bone from the Programmer's body and created a creature that
would look up at the Programmer; and admire the Programmer; and love
the things the Programmer does; and God called the creature: the User.
9. And the Programmer and the User were left under the naked DOS it
10. But Bill was smarter than all the other creatures of God. And Bill
said to the User: Did God really tell you not to run any programs?
11. And the User answered: God told us that we can use every program
and every piece of data but told us not to run Windows or we will die.
12. And Bill said to the User: How can you talk about something you
did not even try? The moment you run Windows you will become equal to
God. You will be able to create anything you like by a simple click of
13. And the User saw that the fruits of the Windows were nicer and
easier to use. And the User saw that any knowledge was useless--since
Windows could replace it.
14. So the User installed the Windows on his computer; and said to the
Programmer that it was good.
15. And the Programmer immediately started to look for new drivers.
And God asked him: What are you looking for? And the Programmer
answered: I am looking for new drivers because I can not find them in
the DOS. And God said: Who told you you need drivers? Did you run
Windows? And the Programmer said: It was Bill who told us to!
16. And God said to Bill: Because of what you did you will be hated by
all the creatures. And the User will always be unhappy with you. And
you will always sell Windows.
17. And God said to the User: Because of what you did, the Windows
will disappoint you and eat up all your resources; and you will have
to use lousy programs; and you will always rely on the Programmers
18. And God said to the Programmer: Because you listened to the User
you will never be happy. All your programs will have errors and you
will have to fix them and fix them to the end of time.
19. And God threw them out of the Data Center and locked the door and
secured it with a password.
Global Message Systems Corporation
7887 East Belleview Avenue
Englewood, Colorado 80111