Why did the Chicken Cross the Road

(forwarded to me)

ROBERT DE NIRO:    Are you telling me the
 chicken crossed that road?    Is that what you're
 telling me?

DR. SEUSS:    Did the chicken cross the road?
 Did he cross it with a toad?   Yes, The chicken
 crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:     I envision a world
 where all chickens, be they're black or white or brown
 or red or speckled, will be free to cross roads
 without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA:  In my day, we didn't ask why the
 chicken crossed the road.  Someone told us  that the
 chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for

REV. FRED NILE:   Because the chicken was gay!
 Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain
 truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to
 the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the
 "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
 And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.
 It is the will of Jesus and the Lord that we boycott
 all chickens until we sort out this abomination
 that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
 harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken
 should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and
 simple as that.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:  To die. In the rain.

ARISTOTLE:   It is the nature of chickens to
 cross the road.

KARL MARX:    It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN:    This was an unprovoked act
 of rebellion and violence by counter-revolutionary
 terrorists and we were forced to defend ourselves from
 the menace of the chicken by dropping 500 tons
 of nerve gas on  it.

RONALD REAGAN:   What chicken?

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:    To boldly go where no
 chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER:   You saw it cross the road with
 your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross
 before you believe it's true?

FREUD:   The fact that you are at all concerned
 that the chicken crossed the road  reveals your
 underlying sexual insecurity. How do you feel about your

BILL GATES:   We have just released eChicken
 2000, which will not only cross roads,  but will lay
 eggs (only in the proprietary brown_ms.egg
 format), file your important documents, and balance your
 chequebook and Internet Explorer is aninextricable
 part of the Chicken.

THE CIA: Who told you about the chicken? Did
 you see the chicken? There was no chicken. Please step
 into the car, sir.

EINSTEIN:    Did the chicken really cross the
 road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT
 chicken. What do you mean by chicken?   Could
 you define the word "chicken"?

THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens,
 and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the
 road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was
 much rejoicing.